Quotes of the Week

Not to worry, I have no intention of repeating anything some important person or celebrity said at some highly publicized event this week. There will be no mention of Paul Martin or 50 Cent or Paris Hilton or Oprah. Instead I present to you things said by me or to me by my friends and associates over the past week, that had me wetting myself a wee bit. Hee.



On shaving in Canada:

"I tend to wait until things get a little out of hand before shaving them ... with the weather as it is now, so fricken cold, it's hairy-pits for now."


Selective amnesia:

"Well, I have already seen you naked... or was I *dreaming*? Must've been the meds!"


People deal with pain differently:

"How nice with the back-stroking and hand-holding, though. I don't know how you took it. When I feel bad, I want people to leave me the fuck alone and not touch me!"


Priapism:

"We had that pelican feeling right through october - where ever we turned we had an enormous bill infront of us...(nicked that from Blackadder)."


On "Perfect" people:

"Dont put yourself down - sometimes 'so far evolved' can mean they can be forgetful about what it's like to be human."


It's no big deal:

"Naaah, you'll be fine. If you'd humped him in the alley behind the pub THEN you'd have been in big trouble!"


Workplace accident:

"Something seemingly so minor as a little fall can really ruin one's day! ... And, let me ask the most American of questions... can you SUE for MILLIONS?!?!?"


The Beer snob:

"I wish I were more open minded, but I'd never come here again if I found that you were drinking the wrong beer. I hope it's not Pabst or Schmitt, or Coors or Corona."



Y'all have a blessed weekend.